3 Steps to Overcome Hair Struggles When Life Gets Tough

If you're over the 30-year mark, chances are you've experienced some form of

loss or trauma. Maybe it was a pet, or maybe it was a parent. Maybe it was a relationship you swore was going to end in a forever kind of love—only to discover it was just another lesson.

Or maybe it was a friendship breakup that somehow hurt even worse than the romantic

ones. No matter the type of pain, most of us have one thing in common:

We still got up. We still showed up. And somewhere in the middle of grieving, healing, or surviving—we still want to get our hair done.

Whether it’s every week, every month, or every now and then, there's something

therapeutic about that shampoo bowl. That scalp massage. That moment when someone is gently twisting your crown, and suddenly, it feels like they’re untangling more than just hair—they’re loosening the pain you’ve been carrying in silence.

Now, I know India.Arie once said, “I am not my hair.” But for many Black women… it’s actually the opposite. Our hair holds memory. It holds power. Even for me, it holds the last image of my mother before she passed…

For some it could be the style we wore when we thought he was going to propose (and instead, he ghosted)…That lock that carried fur from the pet we had to say goodbye to.

These are real stories. These are the stories my clients have shared while sitting in my chair.

However, I didn’t write this blog to be sad, I wrote it to be honest... Because in our world, hair isn’t just hair. It’s a statement of beauty, triumph, and sometimes, transition. For my clients dealing with alopecia or cancer, it’s also a form of grief.

But even if our strands aren’t holding onto our scalp the way they used to—we still get to

hold onto our power. I want to offer 3 steps to help you rebuild your confidence—even if your hair is thinning, breaking, or gone altogether.

Step 1: Radical Acceptance

Start with the truth. No judgment. No shame. Just honesty.

Ask yourself:

- What’s really going on with my hair?

- What’s happening in my body?

- What’s weighing on my spirit?

Maybe it's a diagnosis. Maybe it's stress. Maybe it's trauma your body hasn’t even processed yet. Whatever it is—acknowledge it. You cannot change what you're unwilling to face. This step isn’t about fixing it immediately.

It’s about sitting in truth without running from it. Because clarity gives you power.

Step 2: Journal It Out

Now that you’ve acknowledged the hurt, it’s time to release it. Do a brain dump. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Just write—no filter, no grammar check, no worrying if it makes sense.

It might sound like:

“Supermarket.”

“Doctor’s appointment.”

“Make my bed.”

Or maybe even “Why am I still crying over this?”

Whatever comes out, let it. Get it out of your head and onto the page. After the timer goes off, pause. Take a deep breath.

Then I want you to try this breathing technique I teach my coaching clients. It’s called 4-7-8:

- Inhale for 4 seconds

- Hold for 7 seconds

- Exhale for 8 seconds

Repeat 3x times.

Note: It’ll take you less than 3 minutes, but it will calm your nervous system and clear mental

clutter. For my hyper-productive women—this is your moment to breathe, to pause, to reconnect with you.

Step 3: Find the Gratitude

When you’re carrying emotional weight, it’s hard to see the blessings around you.

But sis… they’re still there. The fact that you’re reading this? That’s a blessing. The fact that you’re able to write, breathe, and reflect? Blessing. Sometimes the very thing affecting our hair—stress, trauma, pain—is the very thing that can be softened by shifting into gratitude. Even in the workplace. Even in the chemo chair. Even in the salon. Gratitude creates space for joy to show up again. If you're losing hair because of illness, grief, or hormonal imbalance —you are still worthy of love, beauty, and peace.

Confidence begins when you accept what is, make peace with where you are, and still choose to shine anyway.

Sparkle Thoughts:

I know we started by talking about hair loss. But really, we’re talking about identity.

Healing.

Power.

And how to hold onto it—no matter what stage of your hair journey you’re in.

You are more than your hair. But it’s okay to grieve it. It’s okay to reclaim it. It’s okay to grow again—in more ways than one. You are still you. You are still here. And sis, you’re still a whole vibe. ✨ And if you’re struggling to find your glow again— I can help with that.

Because I’m not just a hairstylist. I’m a confidence coach. And helping women like you rediscover their sparkle—inside and out—is my superpower.

Was this blog for you? Share it with someone who needs it. Want help rebuilding your confidence from the inside out?

Let’s glow together!

For more information on joining my vibrant community, learn how to attend an upcoming Grow & Glow Masterclass start by visiting www.krownandglory.com/sla and save your seat!